Part II : Intervening Against Homophobia

Interrupting the Action

Is there a painless way to interrupt homophobic behavior?

Homophobia causes pain. It is hurtful behavior to begin with. In these situations we are dealing with feelings like anger and fear and embarrassment. These are painful feelings. And growth can be painful. The best we can do is facilitate the resolution of these feelings into healing.

How can I point out that something someone says is hurtful without putting them on the defensive?

Handle with care.  As angry or hurt or embarrassed or frightened as you may feel, remember to act caringly toward the agents of the homophobic action.

Try to relate to them. You might say something like, “I know how you feel. I used to think that, too. . .until something happened to show me it isn’t true.”

Pay attention to the agent’s motivation. Is s/he. . .

• attacking a particular person with the motivation of hurting them?
• lashing out to protect him/herself from some fear ?
• trying to win peer approval with a joke?

What can I say so that people won’t think I’m the one with the problem?

Making the agent aware of resources for the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual community AND THEIR ALLIES will help to demonstrate to the agent that you are not alone in your objection to homophobia.

Also, being prepared with the facts will give you authority. Even though the agent might well dispute what you have to say, facts provide solid ground for you to stand on.